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A letter of Past Love.


As much crazy and stupid you are, My love for you grows by each passing minute and the process of it varies from extremities. Sometimes it’s your words that make me love you more, sometimes it’s your laugh that swipe away my carpet of senses below from the feet and makes me go gala over you. Sometimes it’s also my anger towards you which makes me realise how important you are for the life to be happily lived. An amalgamation of all my emotions are the witness of what you are to me!

I don’t know yet why I am writing this to you, for you, maybe because I don’t have much to do right now or maybe because I am missing you right now. So much kilometres apart from you I can still smell the fragrance you have, the smell of you when your eyes shine, when your hands work or when your lips touch a cigarette.
As much as I hate you when you smoke a cigarette it does turn me on when you do so. 

Amongst the hate, love, urge to meet you, the respect, appreciation, understanding, trying to be on the same page we both have known how to value each other no matter what the situation is and this is what which gives our relationship strength. Today I can very proudly say that we aren’t giving up on each other that easily and so do our parents.

When people say to me that you have a near perfect relationship it gives me a very nice and warm hug of beautiful feelings, just like teddy bears. And do you know that I like you as much as I like soft toys if not more. The only difference is you can hug me back with compassion and desires. Hot, fulfilling desires.  

Sometimes I wonder, I just wonder for hours and smile like an idiot thinking how did I end up being such lucky? A lucky Panda who has the world’s cutest and most jaanuable Bhalu. I never saw that coming, didn’t know my life would lead me till here. The times when I used to cry hugging my pillow I would always crave for someone just like many others who would take me into his arms and I wouldn’t mind spoiling his shirt with kohl of my eyes. Needless to say, I know and can bet I have found those arms now and not only that you have also made me strong enough to help someone in the same state. I had heard people who love also give you the reason to live, stand up, fight and be proud of who you are! They always teach you to be a better person and lovable and humble and lots of other magical things. So , thanks to you for that.
You have changed me as a person for good, now I have a better understanding of the world and my own intent.

This is a Thankyou plus miss you plus I Love You note.. to make you remember of all the times we have had, some highs some lows, the memories of you setting the benchmark high for others lovers and me not reacting on it, the peace of you sleeping like a long lost child and me chatting sitting beside that child. The happiness of entering into that room full of red balloons and looking at you utter amazement.

What gives me honour is the fact that even the world can see our love and bless us with things being set up right for us, they hope and pray. Now, that is something which had never happened with me and of all the other new experiences this was the one to cheer up for too!

…..to the endless memories, smiles, hopes, differences, pain, desires, fights and love…all I want to say is…We will see you it, together.

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