Surf Excel

I realised that I was afraid of new people,new environment only when I got into my new school which was much larger than my previous one in every aspect.The school before that was set up in the house of a lady and had total of three rooms for p.g,nursery and k.g precisely.

In that school,I was the most loved student and principal’s favourite.She had rabbits too and used to play with them for hours.

It was a happy place for me,I had many friends too.But time has to go by and it did.Now I was enrolled in this big new school and it had students in thousands.I remember crying the whole six hours on my first day there.Though things were beginning to settle I was bullied almost everyday.And maybe I had made peace with it somewhere in my heart.I knew this was what I have to go  through and there is no escape.Though some kids around me used to talk to me I still would miss my old school.I had got into the habit of being domineered so much that one day a classmate of mine brought a 2 rupee sachet of surf excel just to mix it in my water bottle and make me drink it,he was so sure I would do it and indeed I did it,because of the fear that was imbibed in me”what if I don’t drink it?what will he do with me?”

And the next thing I remember is being sent to Home due to deteoriating health and uncountable pukes.At home I wanted to tell it to Maa but I didn’t although she found out the next when she opened the cap of my water bottle to fill it up.She went to school with me and was like the charizard to other Pokemons,she literally fired the boy,the teachers everybody and since that day nobody dared to play any tricks on me.As time passed by I would recall this incident and would question myself”what if I  had not drink it?what if I have had actually my mom?The only reason I didn’t do it was my fear.

Should anybody be this fearful of the people,environment that they in turn harm themselves?why? or why not?

Both ways the loss could be ours.But if you say No to things without fear you have an upper hand of satisfaction even if you fail.

During my teenage there came multiple circumstances when there was an option of being fearful or fearless,partially due to the childhood experiences and partially because of the brains I had,the choice of to be fearless even if sometimes it would not bring me to a safe place I had the content of choosing what I believed in.

Satisfaction of not being hammered by someone had always been there and it’s a very happy place to be in!

Now that I think of the Surf Excel incident,the boy now man,my previous schools,mix of emotions rush down my spine mostly making me smile and laugh at the stupidities I did in school.And yes I miss the Rabbits,not the what ifs,not the fear,not the timidness,but the Rabbits!!